A social media sabbatical?
The irony of the question is that I am writing about this to publish my thoughts on my blog. But a blog is different. It’s social literature, well at least that’s what I like to call it.
Social media is a breeding ground for monotonous, over personal, sometimes vomit inducing updates which are there often for self gratification and the need for mass approval.
Despite this scathing opinion I look at it daily, sometimes hourly, in short, far too much. Historically I was probably someone that irritated people with my updates as much as some do to me now. They call that Karma.
But a while ago the penny dropped, I hit myself with a large wet smelly fish, came to my senses and reigned it in. I stopped being a nob, and ceased telling the world what quite frankly not even a corpse would want to listen to.
That said social media Voyeur status is not good either. There I was still looking avidly, reading, absorbing, occasionally even delving in to the lives of others with no intention at all of giving anything back.
I just needed the big red chair and a Geordie accent to be big brother.
Worst still, I was fast becoming like a smug, high and mighty ex-smoker. As much as I was happy to remain mysterious and not over share, those that do, have become my judgement fodder. Call me Maggie. High Judge Maggie.
Friendships are seemingly formed as quick as our favourite Jamaican Usain runs the one hundred metres. It’s fickle at best. Would you let a stranger into your home? No so why let them in so easily online.
Being two faced is easy. Pack mentality is nurtured. Emotions comes from emojis. I mean come on?
Many are looking for an ego massage. We all like to feel popular – well a lot of us do. I do sometimes but then I come to my senses and realise it’s quality not quantity with friends. The school bully who flushed my head down a recently used and not flushed, I repeat NOT FLUSHED toilet should never be on any list with the word ‘friend’ in.
When did the opinion of acquaintances at best, or complete strangers at worst become so vital? Simply it should not be the case.
Then there are the ‘over sharers’. It’s like a tell all in The Sun newspaper without the juicy story. Tales of mild sniffles, food triumphs, large stools, their texture, traffic updates and other monotonous life chores should not be inflicted on anyone let alone those you call friends.
Conversely. Cryptic commentators. Just bloody say what you mean, tell us the facts or don’t mention it. Please.
If I wanted to solve a mystery I would be tuning in to the ‘alibi’ channel. Furthermore it’s called social media not ‘give us a clue’. That said I am sure there is a smartphone app for it, if your heart so desires!
New mothers banging on about breastfeeding, bouts of diarrhoea filled nappies and the virtue of motherhood make me cringe. Yes we know motherhood is hard you do not need to remind, reassure or provide graphic detail and images to prove it!
All that said there are some moments of joy. The video of the guy with the biggest blackheads I have ever seen having them removed. It was unbelievable what came out from under his skin! Sigourney weaver faced nothing in Alien. Link details can be provided.
No in all seriousness. There are positives. Pictures of friends and family in genuine happy times always bring a smile to my face. But sadly there is too little of this and too much of the above to keep me there. It’s time to take a sabbatical.
So off I go. It might be slightly like living on a desert island. I might hate it. I might go mad. My husband is warned. He must stop me talking to fruit (think Tom Hanks in Castaway) if the mood takes me or any other such inanimate objects.
Furthermore if chores such as cleaning and in particular ironing become high on my daily agenda he must shake me and pass me a trashy gossip magazine as a form of distraction. Sorry some vices can remain.
But here is the thing. I could love it. It could be exceptionally liberating. Conversation could return with muster. Blogging could become more frequent – bad news if you subscribe to my stories.
Only time will tell. So off I go. Deleting apps is next. I feel slightly like I am about to leave jail.
Lots of love
Judge Maggie x